Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
