i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
