there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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