Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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