like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
