She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize