hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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