I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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