Midget sex pt 2 tonight
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize