Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
