I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize