I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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