WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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