i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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