She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Is it because I queefed?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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