Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
