i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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