We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
