I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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