So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
i am craving dick and cupcakes
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
