I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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