you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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