hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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