I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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