He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize