and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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