dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
