My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i wish my penis had a tongue
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize