i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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