I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
