Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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