we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
