Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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