sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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