i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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