she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Randomize
