He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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