Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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