Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize