I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Do vagina's smell?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
