I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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