Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i dont even know how to be here
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
