Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
