So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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