Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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