he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
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