You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
