Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
