I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
this boner is exhausting
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
