eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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