Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I think people are normalizing furries
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
