Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i think i have herpe
just one?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
