i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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