I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize