Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize