But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I wish you could order shots online.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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