so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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