Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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