Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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