There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
