I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
