omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
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