There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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