I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
whose ass print is on the piano?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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