I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I didn't notice because vodka
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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