After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
