sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
