So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Randomize
