Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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