Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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