I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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